Alexia Avina

All That I Can't See

buy a tape here --> :: never content ::

written and recorded by alexia avina
mixed and mastered by evan tighe
album photo by gabriel avina, edited by miriam brellenthin
special thanks to noah klein for the care and generosity
and to evan for bringing these songs to life with such love and vision, I couldn't have done this without you.

baby, I can't stay
lying awake in your dark
while my rain waits to fall

baby, I can't say
what this has made
me weigh in my palms

bathing in a golden light
I found him with his eyes closed slightly
wandering through some melody
his head an orb nodding slightly
my mind's a path burning blindly
back into a distant dream
pacing in my sleep

painting the walls brown while I'm leaning
I watched the floorboards with the feeling
that I'd known this cold wind all along

could it have been my attitude
the way we slept in this room

traced in your body the same break of the ocean, fluid flame
and an icy void inside of me
swirled down deep into my knees
you spoke of darkness and honesty
could it have been your attitude
the weightless drift into ruin

you could have fooled me then by saying we were only friends
stepping down the sidewalk searching for the right bend
enter the parking lot where I picked apart the look
you gave me in the backseat hoping that I would not find
a tear in such a bright light

I dreamt I found you there
in your room up the stairs
staring through a distance I couldn't begin to bear
you dreamt that we fell right
in the snow on our sides
smiling into something eternal in you and I
oh, to find a tear inside a white light.

all that I can't see
wraps around me
like a memory of fear
aching for some place safe
to make a home
oh, what does it take from me

if I were a lake
my lyrics wouldn't break
beneath its own weight

hold me up higher
wind in my face
still I can't

didn't you think it was fun
the way we stared at the sun
you said you wished
you shone like it

I looked to you and I felt warmth
we walked outside to free the form
golden purple was the wind
how could one miss a view like this

to feel more like a child

like fog my mind collects on windows concealed in thought
the kind of white haze that reveals where I know I'm not
does it last, if I fall back

like moss i am seeking through shadow a bed of rock
to turn the dark glare of an edge into something soft
if i hold back, does it last and last